Friday, November 30, 2007

Breathing like the drowning man.......

Last night something strange...a dream
unexpected and totally took me by surprise
I dreamed of reconciliation
we talked about it while we were in the throws of passion
well not really the throws
more like we were grudge fucking
or about to
and then we said how is this gonna work
"I have the apartment and I am on the lease..."she said
as i bit at her bra
it was red checkered like a picnic tablecloth
and I assured her we would work it out
all the details and I felt her lips almost real like in my dream
smoke and mirrors that is often accompanied in dreams
I could feel her hand touching me
her hand.....her touch....

W T F

I never dreamt about her before
not in this compacity and definitely not after the split
but there she was in my head and in my bed
resolving things the way we always did
fucking the problems away
and always for that brief time we were intimate it felt like we could actually work
but the high of post coital stillness would wear off and we would come back to reality
she knows what she means to me physically
the embodiment of what I want and she knows the inner workings of my passion
its overwhelming and I understand now why that was the first thing to go
the sex that is
maybe it would have pulled us back into our continued spiral of unhappiness
but I admit it felt good to be in the throws for just that brief moment in my dream
and then she called and I heard her voice this morning......
and was reminded why our lives are the way they are now
seperate.
and thats better than any grudge fuck we could ever have
or ever did



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