Friday, January 25, 2008

Why So serious?

I heard Heath Ledger overdosed on Klonopin.



Man thats ALOT of Klonopin.....

Good run brah......good run.

Monday, January 21, 2008

finality.....

my mom and another ex love commented on the theme of finality in my writing

"how come you cant write something positve,
I laugh because it's ALL postive \positive purity
my soul..........
I have dropped a few degrees among living.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down

I have been sick.
Food poisoning.
Its like a plastic film all over my body
and I cant move as fast as I want to
life doesnt move as fast as i want it to.


Waiting for February.
Always fucking waiting for something
All for the want of change
and control
I have gotten pulled
this way and that way
I never pulled anyone
just watched them walk out the door
into the arms of the good guy
seems like all of them have
I am a warm up
I am the January
to the next guys February
practice or
what NOT to want
I make that next guy look good for my mistakes

SHE that I have yet to speak of......
off and married happily ever i am sure
Just like the newest
same as the oldest
Loving once is no comfort
I wish I never knew what it was sometimes
"But I love you all",I said.
I scream it.
Reach in this frame.Pull out lust and love and crumble them

Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action, and till action, lust
Is perjur'd, murd'rous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despis├Ęd straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had,
Past reason hated as a swallowed bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad. . . .

"Sonnet 129," 1–8
Thank you Uncle William.




Sunday, January 13, 2008

The End of the Affair........



And so ends an era...
I find it somewhat fitting
what with the new year and all
But we all have things that we will forever be associated with
I am proud this is one of them for me
Way back when I first started I found it to be an easy environment for me to be myself
and I thrive in that atmosphere
but as I returned that spirit was gone
I dont know if it was gone from me or from the company
maybe both
but if I cannot be myself
I am less effective
and miserable
so I think its time for me to shine elsewhere
just one more step for me
and so I go....

so long pal.....


Saturday, January 5, 2008

The Ripple Effect

what weird shift in the cosmos happened to where some women have lost their sense of rationality?
They want so much to have and have more.
And never willing to give up.
Heaven forbid they are seen for what they really are
What is underneath
The truth......


Anyway..The new year.
THE NEW YEAR.
I woke up on the first and felt better.
I am ready with new resolve
Not wanting the things I wanted before
I also anticipate the prospering
The little feeling of oneness one gets
when left alone.
I just wanna feel that for once.
And I will.
No one will be around to take that away either

but their seems to be an epidemic of adultery on the rise
just give the infected their blanket and point them to the trail of open arms that accept them....
but send them with a warning
a scarlet A
and be sure to burn all that is left
pictures
clothes
memories
bridges
so they never come back
ever

Give natives some blankets warm like the grave.....
.......the end of the frontier and all that you own
under the blankets of all that you've done......