Author's Note: I feel horrible about neglecting my blog.My cathartic bloodletting for the internet.My health issues and personal misguided decisions as of late derailed my train of thought and have pushed this to the side for awhile.But I need this outlet and promise to pursue it once again with the passion of a misguided decision maker.For now here is an entry from December 2007.I wrote this as a reflection of a best friend who has been a very strong presence this year helping me get through the difficulties of being ill.Enjoy and thank you all for the support.... #n2tha0back.
A love that grew out of resentment for those who trampled on our hearts
and she vowed no emotions for the new year
but she let one slip
and the union held steady
our union excellent and punk
our names synonymous the way I have chased ever since
and in our youth we lived out our scorched earth policy
I burning the bridges of my family as Nero serenaded me on mother's day
and her casting long shadows for me to bathe and sleep in
covering me with her future
yea we were a team.....
and then she took off her ring
she took it off
Toby Tyler...your table is ready......
but she had to
I couldn't hold her back...her future became so huge!
how can a tragic hero like myself compete
with the blow,the pills,the yak..the herb.
"I am just in it for the ride"
she said as her nails were as jaded as her words
see she was so precise with that nail file
and I imagined how precise she was while cutting lines with the same
vanity(and the same fingers and ragged nails)
she read like a book to me
she was cut from me
and when it was time to say goodbye and off to New York New York big city of dreams
this little piggy stayed home
and cried in the front seat of his hyundai
dried my eyes and drove off from in front of her house
knowing my world turned
but who was I to make her stay
13 years gone and I wouldn't have it any other way
my LOVE is capitol even more today
see its cosmic and mere humans cant touch it
we are without each other
each others arms and kisses and blah fuck blah
but to have this bond is what old codgers stay together for
hoping to wake up one day and look at the
person that slumbers beside them and realize
today is the day she will understand me