all the super much...

I always saw babies as babies
little swaddled people full of intimidation
ready to test your worthiness of their presence
and then I had a baby
and I was worthy
and passed with flying colors
and I AM STILL worthy
but these arms rest silent and empty
yet still ready.....
baby G would cry like the world was wrong
until daddy would convince him to give it a chance
it really isnt so bad.....
....be the change you wish to see in the world....
then he would fall asleep(only after much coaxing and patting)
and I felt accomplished
I did my part to make his world better
I miss those times
I want those times
It really is something I am good at
and its a lot healthier
than living with your head in the oven....
I want to stick around to see how good my world can actually get
weathering the storms and proving my strengths

and maybe
just maybe
put a little one to sleep again.

"How much do you love me?"-n

"all the SUPER much !"-G

My heart shines from the sorrow......

I believe I need to be saved from this...
but I know
I will not be
It is my course
as it always has been
and my heart shines from the sorrow