Thursday, December 31, 2009

As I lay my head on your chest REPOST from 1/9/09

I wrote this almost a year ago...I believe it still holds true or I would like to believe it does...


This year I shall prove to be impervious and invincible
against the odds of years past
see
see they tried baby
they tried to toss the dirt on my head and lament
the passing of my sanity
but here I stand to prove them wrong
to prove them they were assholes

This year my words will not get tangled with tongues like swords
I strike precise and evident
as well I should
see baby
see I deserve this
this smile that is pressed on my lips
I have earned
trogging through these swamps of ash
for years and years
only to find my heart swaddled in your arms
I deserve this
This year I assemble the army of ghosts to fight the impending doom
and to feast at the banquet of victory
see baby
see I have secured my spot at that table
respectively
through the fog and haze I have battled my way here
to stand deserving by a soul so beautiful and intriguing
that my head swims with thoughts of tomorrow with you
my bride
see baby
this is the year
closer to the quickening
as we have waited in years past for truth
and change
and flights with the Pleiadians
shaking grey hands and toasting hoaxes
see baby
see I believe in truths and step every foothold like
it will be there forever
because it will and is
and to remain unsaturated from substances
makes this year a first
strength falls on my back as a welcomed ally
we all identify what we need
in a time of need
so save the dirt for loneliness and depression
it was a lovely service
after all

and years and years down
we will clink our glasses with grey hands to celebrate
this year of firsts
my vision tunnels and focuses as yours does
in synchronicity
as we are one
you see baby?
we deserve this year
your hand in mine
passing through these landmines
unscathed and unbowed

"loving every second of it...."

We are next

Tomorrows have always whispered in my ear like a playful lover inviting me to make out with them.
I am so hesitant to take that hand that stretches towards my heart and be lead to that place.
But I always do.Whether it is to find myself blissfully ripped open or left for dead...I still go forth.
And on to futures that promise of babies breaths and miraculous disasters I have come to accept that which peppers it's way into my head.
It's love and it is solid but cold nonetheless.
We huddle close in the storm only to separate our vessels come morning.
But we had nightfall didn't we?
We had it by the guts
and we flew over rooftops and lit fireworks for the world to taste our victory on our war torn lips.
All the while building our next step with the same brick we built our last leaving us nowhere to stand in the present.
You handed me a tomorrow like a note passed in class
folded neatly like a fallen soldiers graveside flag.
And I took it,embraced it and made love to it like conception was the only option.
So tonight I can stand and look back with grateful eyes and bow my head to your wishes like what else is love supposed to do
But wait for another tomorrow that will come from the same place as the ones that made me smile and kept me perched.
Watchful and wanting of all things to come.Whatever that may be....

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I find myself at the point where we kissed...first

My heart would tell you I am lying when I tell you I believe we are doing the right thing .
It weighs heavy these days.
It is full of clutter.
I could not pick it out of a line up of thieves.
These memories are on a permanent loop
Playing on the back of my eyelids
It was not all for nothing, solace
You cannot take our yesterdays and erase them
They are soaked in ether and will tear you up
They are testimonies...


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Presence

Forging ahead....
I wear the sun's impressions in my face
like walking into an inferno
and walking right out of it
I always walk out of it
burnt and scarred and coursed
but I LOVE it
it is what I am best at
this summer's sun beat down and burnt my walls
and now to forge ahead in muddy bloody footprints
from the voyages of season past
my hand in my quiver with one arrow left to soar
searching for my trajectory
Forging ahead into Autumn

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The best part of having no crime to solve



Stitched up to my addictions
and strung up to your kisses
like syringe dripped honey
shaken on my skin
embedded like ink
forever scanned and conquered
like
lay here with your head to my lap and rest
close those war torn eyes and hide from what you have seen
the mortars of infidelity are silenced
capped like vino
in catacombs not to be restored or stormed upon
undiscovered and unexposed
substances left and forgotten
you are safe to let these go
these hands are imprinted with your heart that they house now
Heismaned and sheltered from this day on
the elements of neglect and disregard
of frivolity and debauchery
will surely miss your vessel I am sure
as you step away
and open these doors before you
all the while your head upon my lap
cradled in a strength
bathed within these besos
I am there
broadcasting loud and clear
pen to paper
ear to the ground
but the tramples never come
they never come
we are left alone to pet the quiet of the night air together
stay here
this moment
leave this here
eyes closed
slumbered and lovely
uncursed
unweary
to start tomorrow from the now
and not the then
and from this day on you rise and greet me with your lips
reassuring me that the rain in your veins has stopped pouring
and I am free to see
the smile that blooms from those lips
that contain your arsenal








Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Saturday, May 9, 2009

spill

To run to race this garbled maze this show of hands full of plenty and nothing at the same time and putting on airs pretending to be what we thought we would be what we always wanted but knowing there was always a door not opened.A door that was ignored like nothing to see here and I knew one day eventually it would open and I would walk through and see a whole new light like looking through the looking glass.everything that was in the dark comes out and I remember ignoring and shoving those truths down hoping they would never rear their head and now is the time of rearing and I am paying for my ignorance with a blissfull smile.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

random gatherings from the quiver

You licked your sword to show me how sharp your tongue was.....

it still falls just as heavy as I remember it to be

the prosper eludes me
but in my heart I can never be weak
what these hands are for
and where and why I cannot recall....

but the rain taps and raps at my window like ghosts

but not my ghosts......

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Wish I was oceansize

This mystery
your profound intrigue with the crashing of the waves
you love it so much
the sound they make when they chip away at the jetties
one tiny pounding at a time
the aftermath of the tide recoiling in preparation for the next
barrage of abuse
maybe the allure is that of the abuse
you so delight in the chaos of the pounding waves
so much so that you forget that I am in there
in every swell my heart is at it's mercy
to your revelry

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Eight arms to hold you....

so as to never forget
how you feel against me
to protect you in the storm
from the hail of bullets
to calm your nerves
and usher in slumber
to hide your eyes from what you fear to see
and defend you from harm
defend you from harm
point the way when you steer the wrong
to dry the tears when the world betrays
to be the only arms you ever need



Thursday, March 12, 2009

sound and fury

It feels the way it should
like it never has before
like a flash of lightening in the dark of night
passion like bullets from a gun I know
from a gun I've heard of
in lullabies and long lost prose
but never fired with my own hands
like rituals behind closed doors
none uninvited
arms and kisses like home
like "stay here..right here..."
and never to be replaced by cheap imitations
the rest after a long journey from the dark reaches and depths of life
day after day
but constant like constellations
showing and guiding me home
a comfort that you know nothing about
I drowned in touches from April
the ones that put me to sleep
a passion that swept me and kept me up for 8 months
and a warmth that intoxicated me as it still does
I hear it when you are gone,
I hear you when I am alone.
your ecstasy echoes from the walls
a sound and fury I conquer at night
a sound and fury I conquer at night
only to collapse my heart into yours
the way I pray
the way I pray
it would be
and now is
all I ever wanted
wrapped up in blankets and drowning in slumber
the way I knew it would be



Friday, January 9, 2009

As I Lay my head on your chest....



"...I can hear it in your veins..."

This year I shall prove to be impervious and invincible
against the odds of years past
see
see they tried baby
they tried to toss the dirt on my head and lament
the passing of my sanity
but here I stand to prove them wrong
to prove them they were assholes

This year my words will not get tangled with tongues like swords
I strike precise and evident
as well I should
see baby
see I deserve this
this smile that is pressed on my lips
I have earned
trogging through these swamps of ash
for years and years
only to find my heart swaddled in your arms
I deserve this
This year I assemble the army of ghosts to fight the impending doom
and to feast at the banquet of victory
see baby
see I have secured my spot at that table
respectively
through the fog and haze I have battled my way here
to stand deserving by a soul so beautiful and intriguing
that my head swims with thoughts of tomorrow with you
my bride
see baby
this is the year
closer to the quickening
as we have waited in years past for truth
and change
and flights with the Pleiadians
shaking grey hands and toasting hoaxes
see baby
see I believe in truths and step every foothold like
it will be there forever
because it will and is
and to remain unsaturated from substances
makes this year a first
strength falls on my back as a welcomed ally
we all identify what we need
in a time of need
so save the dirt for loneliness and depression
it was a lovely service
after all

and years and years down
we will clink our glasses with grey hands to celebrate
this year of firsts
my vision tunnels and focuses as yours does
in synchronicity
as we are one
you see baby?
we deserve this year
your hand in mine
passing through these landmines
unscathed and unbowed

"loving every second of it...."