My instincts are most of the time right....lets let this storm come and wash everything away.....I thought about my body just being a vessel but i dont think they feed dead carcass to hungry birds.instead burn me.no burial.I am not of this earth and I know that there are worse things that could happen but i really dont wanna stick around to feel them too.my son as the pinaccle of life and he shines in every room he is in.so many peole will take care of him and tell him how his father was art faggy and destined to die by the hands of his own.Lori pulls me to the core.to look at at her is like lookin at a a scrap book.her laugh was the biggest in the theatre,she really is low maintainence.I guess i just didnt do the dishes enough.so to end all confusion I believe that was the demise of everything.I live the world with my heart..everyone I have touched...If i wake up tomorrow feel free to call me a pussy.....I can take it.....but I just doesnt know where to go from here.O will probably wake up and tetter on the edge o suicide and wake up and realize I am too wuss to take that one more pill.Perry ferrel once said"what could kill me"I am starting to believe that
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Mom's in the hospital for the third time this year. She has only spoken of suicide and I'll tell you the same thing I told her.
If for no other reason you can readily imagine, think of the devastation and how people just want to forget those things that bring back pain to their conscience.
Look at me, I tried to be some sort of living martyr and all that did was confuse, offend, and cause worry.
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